Week 16, Will beauty save the world?

Our group had two drastically different ideas in the beginning, one focusing on children and one focusing on the elderly. After hearing every single group in our class talk about how their project was going to focus on one group of children or the other, we decided to go with the elderly. They have so many interesting stories and views on life, and they are often forgotten. They usually don't have much family, especially the ones who are stuck in nursing homes.

I love the freedom and open ended-ness (that clearly is not a word... excuse my lack of good grammar) of this project and our ability to take an idea and get creative with it.

Week 15, Oh it's the most...

wonderful time of the year!

gingerbread houses & christmas trees & wrapping presents & the gift of giving & baking cookies & chilly weather & ornaments & lights on the house & family time & hot chocolate & warm fires & stockings hung & a sting in the wind.

i've always tried to figure it out, but what is it about winter time, and Christmas time specifically, that puts (most) people in an automatic wonderful mood? personally, I LOVE IT.

Week 14, Captivating.. again

Captivating, by John & Stasi Eldredge 
Unveiling the Mystery of a Woman's Soul

This book really is wonderful. If you haven't read it and are looking for a good book to dive into, I strongly recommend this one. It talks about the woman's heart and the desires of our heart and what God intended for our hearts, while making references to scripture. This particular quote really caught my attention:

God's Heart for Relationship

"The vast desire and capacity a woman has for intimate relationships tells us of God's vast desire and capacity for intimate relationships. In fact, this may be the most important thing we ever learn about God- that he yearns for relationship with us. "Now this is eternal life: that they may know you, the only true God" (John 17:3). The whole story of the Bible is a love story between God and his people. He yearns for us. He cares. He has a tender heart."

Elderedge goes on to make references to different places of scripture to back up what she is saying here. Then she says,

"What a comfort to know that this universe we live in is relational at its core, that our God is a tenderhearted God who years for relationships with us. If you have any doubt about that, simply look at the message he sent us in Woman. Amazing. Not only does God long for us, but he longs to be loved by us. Oh, how we've missed this."

Really, how can you not find that comforting? The fact the Creator of this universe, of all being, longs for a relationship with us? With you and me? We find ourselves time and time again being blessed and loved by God, though we are again and again so undeserving. It's awfully humbling. Just as we want to be loved, He wants to be loved by us. Just as we have desires, He longs to be desired by us.

This reminds me of something my dear friend said not too long ago. He was talking about a girl he liked, and they were hanging out in a big group. As he looked around, he realized he was getting attention from everyone except the girl he wanted to get attention from. And while he was so happy to be surrounded by all his friends, he wanted this one girl to just make eye contact. To say hi. To give him some kind of attention. Just when I was going to ask him what his point was, he said "You know, I sat there looking around and thought sh**. This must be how Jesus feels. Everyone is giving Him attention, except the one person who He longs to get attention from." That's just really been laying on my heart lately. We've all felt it. We know how it feels to be ignored by the one person you want to get attention from. The one hudred other people just don't make up for it.

Anyways, I've been putting off Crime and Punishment (oopsies..) for this book, so I can't exactly blog about Crime and Punishment. I hope everyone had a wonderful week off, only three more weeks 'til Christmas break!

Week 13, Captivating

I've started a new book just for fun, it's called Captivating by John & Stasi Eldredge. It's fantastic so far and I recommend it to any girl. (There is a book they wrote for boys, it's called Wild at Heart..)

This quote was in the introduction and it really stood out to me.

"Sometime between the dreams of your youth and yesterday, something precious has been lost. And that treasure is our heart, your priceless feminine heart. God has set within you a femininity that is powerful and tender, fierce and alluring. No doubt it has been misunderstood. Surely is has been assaulted. But it is there, your true heart, and it is worth recovering. You are captivating."

I think so often, in today's society, we try to be the women everyone expects us to be. Everywhere we look we're told how to dress, what to say, how to act, and the standard for "beautiful" (skinny as a bean pole with a perfect complexion, of course). It's sad to realize somewhere along the road from toddler to teen, the fire of our heart can be extinguished.

Week 12, Scatterbrained.

I can't even remember what we did this past week in class, to be completely honest...

I'll write more later.

Week 11, Student Driver

It's funny how you can realize something about yourself through the most minor moments. In middle school, if someone "changed" it always came with a negative connation. You always heard the girls saying "OMG I can't believe how much she has changed, do you see who she hangs out with now!" As we get older, we realize it's a part of life. We change. It just happens. Driving home from work Thursday I realized how much I've changed in the past two years.

I was driving down Sparta Road going home from a long day of school and work, and I was so ready to be home. I have a hard time going the speed limit as it is, but after a long day I usually book it to get home. As I came up to Dunn's Canyon, a student driver car got it front of me and was going extremely slow. Instead of getting frustrated and yelling at them to hurry up from inside my car (which is what I would have done last year), I smiled as I remembered the first few times I was behind the wheel. I surprised myself through my reaction, and quickly realized.. I've changed.

Week 10, Wait... 10?!

Can't believe we already got our first report cards.. Blows my mind.

Crime & Punishment: Part 1
I really like the parallelism Dostoevsky uses in the contrast between the city Raskolnikov lives in and his mind itself. Having the similarity makes it easier to understand Raskolvikov's actions, and almost justifies them. It's not the easiest novel I've ever read, but it challenges my thought process and gets me thinking as I'm reading it. I'm interested in where the books going to go from the murder, since usually a big action such as a murder happens at the end of a story. I like that the climax is so early in the book.

Week 9, June 19th, 2010

Alexander. Uracco. Nightly DEVO time. La Union. Brayan. Evan. Zona Guerra. Edwin. Chicken and rice and corn tortillas. Every night. "Desayuno tipico." Every morning. The daily rain shower. Alvin and Josue. Cristian. Honduras.

 I can still remember the feeling in my stomach of anxiety, nerves, and excitement as we got on the bus and headed to the airport. I can remember the growing feeling of chaos as we got on our first, second, third, and fourth planes and crept closer and closer to the unknown. I remember seeing the blue water and palm trees of the touristy Roatan, and how it was quickly replaced with poverty- small, beat up houses, children playing barefoot in the streets, and women walking along dirt roads gathering food. I can remember the love I saw in the kids' eyes when we pulled up to the first church and began setting up our medical clinics. I can remember the frustration of not being able to understand the children who spoke too fast, and that one kid in each village who understood my frustration and slowly pointed out what they were saying. I remember the joy on the boys faces when they learned the rules to ultimate, the light shining in the girls eyes when we pulled out bracelets, and the excitement in the toddlers smiles when we began making balloon animals. I can remember it all so clearly, but memory isn't enough. Memory doesn't satisfy your desires to be back once again, and it sure as heck doesn't satisfy His call for you to be there. My youth pastor told me the meeting for this years trip will be next month, and my stomach lurched with that same feeling- anxiety, nerves, excitement. He will call, and I will answer.

Proverbs 3:5-6 Trust in the LORD with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding; In all ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths.

Week 8, Can you believe it?

With being off Monday and not going to any classes today, I don't really have much English to sit and blog about for the week. But already ordering caps, gowns, and graduation announcements? GRADUATION?! I can't believe it. Each week seems to be crawling by, but as a whole the year is going by quite rapidly. We're already nearing the end of the first nine weeks! This is all too surreal. I don't think I've quite accepted it yet, but I'm slowly starting to realize how fast it's passing, and what each day means. I wish every day would slow down so I could look around me and see all the little things I've never noticed before; the way the halls look, all the faces around me, how many teachers I actually don't know. It's just crazy.

How is everybody's outside reading coming along?

Week 7, For as much of a pain as they are...

For as much of a pain as they are, I really think the practice tests and all the practice essays are really going to help when it comes time for the AP test. I definitely thought the essay with the open ended question was a lot easier than the two having to do with certain excerpts. I know Mrs. Ramirez said her students said the AP Lit test was easier than the AP Language, but the practice tests seem pretty difficult. I'm glad we're starting them this early in the year.

Week 6; Autism Speaks

I wrote this as a part of one of my college essays, so I thought I'd share!

Today, an estimated one out of every three hundred children is diagnosed with Autism. Autism is becoming more common than childhood cancer, and researches still do not know what causes it. Though there are some theories, scientists have not come up with a set cause, making it difficult to treat. The bigger problem, however, is the Autism awareness in today's society. People are uneducated on the disorder and do not know what symptoms to look for in Autistic kids. Teachers, peers, parents; I believe if more people knew how to react to these children, both the lives on the children and the parents would be less lonely, stressful, and frustrating.

I've seen many people not know how to react to Autistic children; if more of society understood Autism and how it affects the children diagnosed with it, a person walking through the grocery store would see a child throwing a fit on the ground and not automatically assume it was a bad discipline job on the
parent's side. If more people understood, an adult might actually walk up to a kid with Autism and be able to attempt to communicate with them, instead of walking away because they were afraid or didn't know how to act. People need to understand these kids are affectionate and loving beyond imagination, but they can't communicate it. They struggle with instigating conversation, building relationships, and responding appropriately to the outside world. This causes them to become very internal, and they get uncomfortable outside of their "bubble." The problem is, Autistic children's biggest problem is figuring out how to socialize, but people are so afraid to communicate with them that socializing is the one thing they don't receive enough of.

I've coached gymnastics for almost five years now, and my boss has her PhD in special education. I've seen more autistic kids come through our gym than I could possibly imagine, and each one of them brightens my life a little more. Their affection and compassion is beyond explanation, and their smiles could light up a room. Seeing other's inability to communicate and love these kids drives me up the walls, and I love spreading Autism awareness. There's so many places to begin, and so many different directions to go from there. It's easy to ignore; but why would you want to? Autistic children are such blessings. They're a challenge, but the most rewarding challenge I've ever come across.

Week 5, & Swamped

I've been in Austin coaching gymnastics meets all weekend and just got home, 2:00 on a Sunday afternoon. I have five classes of homework to finish before the season premiere of Desperate Housewives and Brothers and Sisters, which I sit down with my mom and sisters to watch at 8:30. Swamped, swamped, swamped; what happened to senior year being blow off? Oh yeah, my inability to settle for easy classes.

So, I'm gonna finish this blog, do my weekly essay, government, calculus, anatomy, and find time to work out and clean my room, before settling down for my Sunday night TV shows.

Any thoughts on our Bedford reading from Wednesday-Friday?

Week 4, All About Poems

We Old Dudes
Joan Murray

We old dudes. We
White shoes. We

Golf ball. We
Eat mall. We

Soak teeth. We
Palm Beach; We

Vote red. We
Soon dead.

This poem takes a funny, humorous view on death. It gets away with such an approach through it's use of diction and tone. The author brings in irony through the use of the word "dudes" and incomplete sentences. The use of these types of sentences would be used more in a younger voice, like a teenage boy. The fact the author uses Palm Beach as a description of the men shows these men are young at heart. The approach on this poem through the diction and syntax give the poem a light hearted tone, making death just seem like any other part of life.

Week 3, Can you believe it?

We've already gone through three weeks of school, crazy huh?

I wrote a silly little poem for my journal on Friday, so I figured I'd share it for this weeks blog. I picked the phrase "imaginary friend." Here goes nothin.

I once had a friend by the name of J.R.,
even when he left he never went far.

Day after day we spent by the barn,
talking about life and spinning our yarn.

He was my best friend all through the summer,
and when school came back it was a big bummer.

But he was always there waiting for me,
when I hopped off the bus by the big old tree.

We would talk and hold hands as we walked down the roads,
and I'd spill all my rage about that mean, old Miss Hoads.

When we got home he'd make me a snack,
and I'd teach him math to pay him back.

Winter rolled around and still J.R. stayed,
making snow angels on the snow which we layed.

As winter left and spring took its place,
J.R. was still there but now with no face.

Day by day his spirit would face,
until his place is my heart was as dark as shade.

As I grew older I tried getting him back,
but my childhood innocence was now empty and black.

The innocence of childhood I could not learn,
and that's when I knew he wouldn't return.

My heart goes out to my dear old friend,
with hopes one day my children will meet him around the bend.

Week 2, What's on your mind?

This weekend I got to thinking about why people end up at certain colleges. There's a ton of different colleges, in different cities, all over the world. Each campus has a different student body, different atmospheres, with hundreds of clubs and organizations to get involved in. So, I asked myself how a group of students, all brought up in the same school with the same teachers, can each view a different college as their
"perfect fit." I understand individuality, but I find it amazing. Some teenagers are attracted to Austin, the "never sleeping" city, while some teenagers are completely in love with the home feeling of College Station. I guess the time has just finally come where we get to make our decision, a time we've been waiting for since middle school or before, and I love hearing everybody's two cents on where they want to go and what they find so compelling about the location and atmosphere of the school. We've been one body of people for so long, and now we're about to all split up and go down our own paths to the next chapter of our lives. Time really does fly, even if it isn't always fun.

Why am I blogging about this, where does it fit into what we've been learning about? I quickly realized how far we want to travel for college and where we want to go depends on our past experiences, just as our past experiences determines how we perceive fiction. If we have a controlling, over bearing parent, most likely we'll want to get farther away than someone who already has the freedom they've gained through their parents trust.

Stories, stories, stories. On the hour long drive home from Austin, nothing good was on the radio, so I turned it off and thought for a while. I realized our story isn't ending as we graduate and move on from everything we've always know. We aren't shutting the book forever and never looking back at the pages we've taken so long to put together, we're just simply starting a new chapter, building on the foundation we've started here in the eighteen years we've spent here in our hometown. Eighteen years of singing the school song on Friday nights, dressed in red and white, yelling until our vocal cords are done. Eighteen years of driving down the same road to get home from school every day, so by the time you're sixteen you don't even have to think twice about where you're going. Eighteen years of memories, all in one small town. It's quite compelling to think about, always giving me the chills when the memories finds their way into my brain. As we spend these last 8 months together in good ol' Belton, Texas, think about the things you want to squeeze into the end of your chapter: a friendship with a person you've always been interested in, a club you've always wanted to start but never took the time to. This is the time. Throwing all fears and doubts beside, this is YOUR story, and leaving something out of your story because you're afraid of failing is a tragedy. Listen to your heart, and follow your heart. It will get you where you want to be.

What is Storytelling?

Storytelling is the song of our hearts; whatever that may look like in your life, it's as simple as that. Storytelling is an artwork to an artist, a song to a musician, a dance to a dancer, or simply the moments in life that make your heart beat a little faster. Storytelling is the foundation for all learning. English, history, science; it all tells a story of someone's passion and time.

Storytelling, in my life, is sharing stories about the things I'm passionate about: coaching kids in gymnastics, working with special needs kids, soccer games, and my mission trip to Honduras. I love sharing my stories, and even though I can't sing to save my life, I love singing the song of my heart. More than sharing my stories, I could sit and listen to other peoples' stories for hours.

With storytelling, how you connect with what you hear leads to what you get out of it. Multiple people could all hear, or see, the same story, and when asked about it, each person could have a completely different view of what the story was about. The beauty of storytelling is it leaves room for the listener to hear the story and finish the rest. Stories can resonate with different people in different ways, conveying different emotions. But no matter what, sharing stories, through whatever way, builds communities. Sharing a story with someone builds a bond between you and that person that lasts forever.